Searching
by ResidentOfCabin6
Summary: Annabeth has been searching for Percy for the last three months, and she's exhausted. She can't take a break, though, not even knowing that he's likely safe at the Roman camp. But maybe she needs to, since her head won't stop spinning. And maybe it's not a good thing that she can't remember when she last slept. (Oneshot) (Takes place between TLH and SoN)


**The wonders of motivation. I had a lot of free time today, and the inspiration, this this happened. I hope you peeps enjoy, and stay awesome.**

 **-ROC6**

At this point, she knew she had lost. She was crashing and burning and the world around her was on fire, even if she was the only one that could feel the heat, the hungry streaks of light searing her as she ran away, as she tried to ignore the truth. The cold, hard truth, that sat in her stomach like a rock and nudged at the back of her mind like a tumor. Annabeth knew that she couldn't ignore the truth any longer.

She was alone in Cabin Six, having directed her half-brother Malcolm to lead the cabin's activities while she went back to the cabin to work on blueprints for the _Argo II_. Or at least, that's what she told him. In actuality, she was just tired. Not the tired one feels when they've been running for an hour straight, but the feeling of heavy, unrelenting exhaustion. Being completely honest with herself, Annabeth wasn't sure when she'd last slept. Tuesday? Wednesday? She wasn't sure, though she knew it was Friday at the moment. She also knew that she needed to rest.

Her limbs were numb. The nerves and muscles were so tired it took too much effort for her to move, and she was starting to worry since they weren't really sending her pain or texture signals at this point. Though she guessed she deserved it, having spent the last three months only sleeping when felt like she was going to pass out, like she did now leaning against the wall of the cabin.

Even when she tried, though, she couldn't sleep otherwise. Her mind kept her awake, thinking and rethinking everything that was going on, with the start of the second great prophecy, the new demigods at camp, the revelation of Roman demigods and the fact that _Percy Jackson was still missing_. How could she sleep knowing he was missing? He was her best friend, her boyfriend, though that sounded so trivial. They were closer than that. They'd saved each other's lives on multiple occasions. She took a poisoned knife for him. He gave up _godhood_ for her. He was her Seaweed Brain, the best thing that had happened to her. He'd helped bring back Thalia, and motivated her to rekindle her relationship with her dad. He'd changed her life.

And now she couldn't do anything to help him. When she was kidnapped by Kronos, he had searched for her. He had spent day and night trying to find her, and snuck out of camp on Blackjack to join a quest he wasn't supposed to be on. He deserved the same from her.

She was trying. Annabeth was trying so very hard, but there wasn't anything else she could do at this point. She searched day and night, sometimes forgetting to eat without her siblings' reminders, and focused all her brain power on trying to bring Percy home safely. But at the end of the day, she couldn't do it.

The truth was, she had failed.

It had been about three months since Percy had disappeared, and she still had three months left until the _Argo II_ was ready to set sail and cross America. _Can't you go_ any _faster?_ She kept asking the curly haired, Latino son of Hephaestus in charge of the project. He'd assured her, avoiding eye contact as he worked, that no, they couldn't build the ship any faster without risking it blowing up upon use. She'd asked so many times that he'd complained to her in Spanish and shooed her out of Bunker Nine with a fireball.

Finally, Annabeth head stopped spinning, though her vision was still somewhat blurry, a side-effect from sleep loss, and she sat down on her bed. She needed to rest, but how could she? She knew she wasn't going to find the Roman camp on her own. She knew that Hera herself-gods, Annabeth hated that woman-was shielding Percy from her dreams, and preventing all attempts to find him. She also knew that Hera had likely taken Percy's memories, and she thought that that's what was hurting her the most. She didn't know if Percy was alive or not, but she was a demigod, and so was he. She never knew if he was alive or not. What made her more afraid was the fact that he may be alive, and not remember her. Jason's memories were given back to him by Hera and they still hadn't totally returned. What if Percy's never returned?

Maybe all the what-ifs and worrying were going to slowly drive her to insanity, as they'd been doing for the last few months, but what else was Annabeth to do? She'd seen how Jason had settled down with a girlfriend the instant he'd arrived at camp, and was afraid that Percy would do the same. She was afraid that he wouldn't remember her, or wouldn't care about her anymore. She was afraid that he would leave her.

He was the only person in her life that hadn't left her yet, and Annabeth wasn't sure she could survive if he left her, especially not if it was by choice.

And all this was assuming that the Romans didn't discover his Greek heritage, or kill him on sight despite the mark of Achilles, or a thousand other things that she could think of in an instant that could go wrong.

She couldn't recall feeling so strongly about him when he was first taken, but as the days passed, Annabeth's feelings for Percy grew more intense, and it felt like her heart was being ripped into tiny, irreparable shreds never to be found again, leaving her with a permanent feeling like a knife was being stabbed through her heart. She'd always thought those people that claimed to feel physical pain when separated from a significant other were exaggerating, but, to her frustration, she's discovered that apparently, that is not the case. Or Aphrodite was messing with her head, which was always a possibility.

Gingerly, Annabeth forced herself to a standing position, waiting to see if her head spun again at the movement. Thankfully, her surroundings remained relatively in place, though her vision was still a little off, and would be until she finally passed out. Which, judging by her current state, would be soon.

Annabeth walked into the bathroom, intending to wash the tears off of her face, where they'd collected silently during her thoughts, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. It sent shivers down her back when she realized that she didn't really recognize herself, anymore. Her hair was a mess, as it always was anymore, a raging forest of untamed curls. Her eyes were a dull, stone-like color, and the skin under them a gruesome, bruise-like purple that extended way farther than it should've. Her skin itself was paler than usual, lacking the healthy glow most teenagers had, and her cheeks had hollowed out some from the way she'd been throwing herself into the search for Percy.

Honestly, she looked more like a zombie than a living, functioning person. And maybe that scared her a little. But what scared her even more was how weak she looked.

She knew that everyone at camp could see how poorly she was taking care of herself since Percy disappeared, but, wow. She hadn't _really_ looked at herself since-she couldn't even remember when. Maybe her friends were right to be worried about her. But she still didn't want their pity.

 _But she had to find Percy_ , a part of her kept imploring. _But he wouldn't want you to waste away, now would he?_ Another part of herself tried to argue, and Annabeth groaned, slumping onto the sink and bracing herself upright with her elbows. She was having an argument with herself; now she was _definitely_ losing it.

She just, she was desperate. And maybe she was taking it a little too far, but she just wanted Percy back safe and sound, and dear gods was she tired. Maybe a little sleep wouldn't hurt.

Annabeth turned the faucet onto cold water, splashing it at her face. She felt her brain wake up a little more, but she knew it wasn't working at its maximum capacity, and hadn't been for awhile. She knew that throwing herself into the search like this was unhealthy, and she knew she was starting to burn out. The problem was, she was afraid that if she stopped, took a little time to take care of herself, then Percy wouldn't be there when she resumed searching again.

The daughter of Athena took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. This needed to stop. She turned the faucet off, and closed the bathroom door behind her, taking a longing look at her collection of maps and blueprints before lying down on her bunk.

She could still keep looking for Percy, but she needed to rest some, too. After all, they knew he was at the Roman camp, and hopefully Hera was keeping him safe, if painfully mindless. Maybe she should start taking care of herself. Maybe, searching for Percy could wait, at least until the _Argo II_ was completed, and Annabeth had found herself again.


End file.
